Losing tickets

I dreamed of this a few days ago.

It was noon or daytime and I was on the street together with many people rushing our way to the nearest theater where a one-of-a-kind concert was about to start. I was hurriedly making my way to the theater and overtook the others.

As I reached the entrance, they asked me to show my ticket. As I reached my pocket, I couldn't find my ticket anymore. I searched everywhere, but it's nowhere to be found. I was starting to get pissed, because I knew I have one.
I could hear the show starting, and featured artists performing already.

I told the one selling the ticket to just give me another one and I'll pay for it. He agreed.

After that, I went to the next level of the theater. Then again, the security asked for my ticket. I reached for my pocket to show them the ticket but it was lost again. Damn! What was happening? I told myself. I told them this was the 2nd time I lost my ticket at the same time.
They wouldn't let me in at first and held me up for long.

I desperately requested them to let me in. After years, they showed mercy and let me in.

I sat at the back row of the balcony. Unfortunately, the show was about to end already.

F*ck.

Eat the cake(s).

This dream happened 2 weeks ago.

I was in the city, can't remember where I was coming from, walking around until I found a convenience store somewhere and went inside. I felt that I'm hungry and I might as well look for something heavy and good to eat. I was looking around for about 15 minutes or more, all I was seeing were bread, snacks, and other stuff.

Around the corner, there was this big stand containing different cake flavors, of all sizes, shapes and colors. I could see people flocking the area. I approached the stand and was marveled by what I had seen. I was looking at the feast of many pastry enthusiasts like me. I took big slices of 3 different cakes, I remember them being of color green, red and brown. Maybe they were of strawberry, lime and chocolate flavors. The cakes were quite expensive, and people were staring at me as I was frantically making my way to the slices. I didn't care, as long as I knew the money I'd be paying for would be worth it.

I went to the end of the long line before the cashier. I found some bread beside the counter and took a few. Already hungry, and knowing I'd still have to wait for a few minutes, I decided to take a few bites from the bread.

Meanwhile, I heard someone nearby calling me. I turned around and saw my Aesthetic professor, Ms. Winnie, sitting and taking a break as well. We had a long conversation, but I cannot remember anymore what we were exactly talking about.

When it was my turn to pay to the cashier, I realized I already finished eating the bread. The lady at the cashier told me, "Wow, you are really hungry, kid. You finished eating the bread without even paying first for it. Hahaha." We laughed but she assured me it's okay. So I paid for the bread I had eaten, as well as the slices of the cakes I took before. I remember paying P311.00.

I went out and left the place with a smile on my face.

Unconcsious Communication

It is said the we can communicate with the dead through our dreams. And I truly believe it.
Almost every night before I sleep, there is never a moment that I don't think of my late grandparents, especially my grandmother.

2 nights ago, grandpa visited me in my dreams. The setting was inside their old room, long before when the house wasn't renovated yet. All things were in their usual place - the rocking chair on the left, their bed on the middle , the television in front. We were inside the room, and I was just casually talking to him. It was just a fun and light conversation and parts I remember about the conversation is that he would regularly visit me in my dreams, and I was telling him how amazing this mode of visit was. I was telling him things like, though he's dead, we'd still see each other as usual.

This morning, I woke up after the same dream, but this time, with my grandmother. I was in a phonebooth, and I could hear her voice over the phone. We were checkin' each other; I'm telling her I miss her and I love her, and she was saying the same thing. In the dream, it seemed like I know she's already dead, but she came back to regularly visit me as she was saying. Her voice on that dream resonates vividly until now that I'm awake and writing this.

It's a good thing. Though I miss them so badly every day, I'm still happy that they are watching me from up above. It may sound so cheesy but I would do anything to make my old folks proud until the rest of my days.

Mystery Quest. Foreigners. Electrecuted.

The title contains the keywords about what happened to me unconsciously last night. But the totality was vague. I couldn't remember the exact twist of events or the narrative correlation of each.

Mystery Quest. I remember walking on sidewalks on daytime, looking around stores and establishments or houses. I entered one, which had wooden-framed square glass windows. I was looking for someone or something, which I cannot remember anymore.

Another part of the dream I remember (I'm trying hard to picture it!) brought me back to my mom & dad's previous house interior. I totally forgot what I was doing there.

Foreigners. In another part of the dream, I remember walking on sidewalks (again..) but in a crowded place. It seemed like I was also walking on circles and all around, finding my way to nothingville. The place was like an old but still active shopping mall or shopping place, with gray exteriors. There were many people, and as I was making may way, I kept on bumping on to Amercians or whoever caucasians present there.

Electrecuted. Following the 'foreigners' segment, as I found my way out the shopping place, in an open area beside it, but still there was a maddening crowd and I kept on finding my way out, I saw a lot of men on ladders trying to reach the ceiling. People were at the base for support and help. I guess they were all trying to fix the lights. The place was somehow old, that's why. As I was walking around, bumping to people, making my way, I could see every person's eyes were glued on the men on the ladders. As I continued to walk away, I heard a loud explosion followed by explosive amounts of scream. I looked back and saw the men on ladders being zapped and roasted alive. The commotion started and people were freaking out. I rapidly made my way out. guess I managed to escape the madness after all.

Museo Pambata

This is the latest entry. I dreamt about this just last night (or should I say just this dusk 'til dawn! Haha.)

It's true that whatever you're thinking about in your conscious thoughts, even transcends through the subconscious.

Now that I'm taking my senior thesis class, I'm going gaga over paperworks and researches. Museo Pambata (check www.museopambata.org for more information) is my choice for my product/service/institution.

In my dream, I went to Museo Pambata. But the museum resembled like our house, or should I say, the museum was built on our house! I entered the office and it was my mom and dad's room. The directors were there working. I was looking for the PR Director, Ms. Chie Sales, and the woman there told me to look over the window. I saw "Ms. Chie" coming out from another door and trying to fix some things. The door where she came out was exactly the same entrance of our sari-sari store. (Take note: I haven't even met Ms. Chie! perhaps the physical manifestation of Ms. Chie in my dream is not actually what she looks like in reality!)

Later on I met the Marketing Director, Ms. Nalyn Castillo upon walking out the office door, and as she was coming in. I asked her "Aren't you ms Castillo?". She replied in a disinterested manner, "Yes I am." and then she turned her back and went it. I was like, was a snob! (In reality, she was the one I contacted first. She asked me to sent her first my inquiries through e-mail, but days passed and I haven't been getting any single reply from her. Or she just dictated me a wrong e-mail add. I don't care anymore. Haha.)

I went out and saw the whole exterior of the museum (which resembles our house still) but surrounded with more trees. It seemed like it was in a secluded area of nothingville.

Afterwards, my highschool friend Misha showed up, inviting me to come to their house because there'll be a party wherein more of our highschool friends will come. I refused to go but she kept on insisting. I told her I have so much more to do regarding school works.

It ended there. What a weird dream indeed.

The Amazing Race

Due to my addiction on the reality series, The Amazing Race, weeks ago, I remember dreaming about me doing it. I remember doing it a lot of teams, each team comprising of 4 members.

The first challenge was riding a bike from a certain point of the location to another. I can surely remember picking up my bag and opening the next clues just like in the reality show! Haha. And I felt extreme adrenaline rush in the dream. The next challenge was to ride a moving bench through a long dim-lighted corridor with visual effects of lightning flashing around and background sounds of thunder and other roaring sounds. It was totally weird and crazy. When we reached the next end, I went down the stairs, found myself in a place that resembles the interior of my former school (I always dream about my old school). Beside a classroom, the stairs were located. Other teams were there. We were all wearing white with the logo on the shirt. I stood behind the last one on the line. I dunno what we were falling in line for.

That's all I remember. Haha.

She's Here, There, and Everywhere

Almost a week before my grandmother died, I dream about her. In my dream (I forgot the other details but I can still cite few things I remember) I was in a certain place, where there were lots of people - a mixture of acquaintances and some I don't even know. They were all talking to each other, in different manners, in every corner they were, words I have never even understood.

A part of the dream took me to a certain place where my grandmother was lying down on the bed. My sister sat beside her. All I can remember was me, hugging her, telling her how much I love her and how much I'm gonna miss her. After that, I woke up crying.


June 25, 2008. Two days ago. After all was said and done, and I've been waiting for her to visit me in my dreams again (superstition say that departed love ones reach out and communicate to the living through their subconscious thoughts - and I believe in that!), and yes, finally she did visit me.

The night before I slept, my mind was in total chaos due to the thesis requirements that need to be well-thought of and done as soon as possible. I prayed to God and asked for my Lolo & Lola's intervention to give me strength to make it through this challenge as well as peace of mind.

In the dream, I was in a mall (similar to the Mall of Asia, but very different). It was like a round centerstage, like an open field; stores and other facilities and outlets are surrounding it. There was an ongoing fashion show at the 1st level and I was watching from the side railing of the 2nd level. The fashion show had this 'under the sea' theme.I can even remember the runway being soaked in water, like a long river gushing through the ramp. The towering gorgeous models walk simultaneously after another, wearing Crocs-like shoes but with high heels and enormous fish tails or flaps or whatever.

Afterwards, I realized that mom was beside me, talking to some people. She and the rest of the people there were wearing red shirts altogether for a reason I didn't know. Later on I walked away, observed the place, walked around. From a far, I saw an old man. Is that lolo? I thought. The outfit, the mannerism, the stance - that's him! But I was hesitant whether I would approach him or not, thinking if it was really him or it was just a mistake. So I didn't bother.

I continued walking around, until I reached a part of the place where there was not a single person ogling. Suddenly, someone tapped my back and I looked over my shoulder. There stood my lola stood behind me. "ERIK!" She hugged me. "Why don't you tour me around this place?" She said enthusiastically. We both walked together, wandered around and enjoyed each other's company. When we both became very tired, we found a bench and she sat there as I laid my head on her lap. "Why don't you rest on me for a while? Don't woryy, it's ok." She caressed my head. I was very happy at that time. Then I remembered something, "By the way, lola! I saw lolo a while ago. He was there talking with another man. But I'm now sure if it's really him." "That man is not your lolo... He just looked like him." She assured me.

In a few minutes, I dozed off. When I woke up, my lola was gone. I stood up and looked for her but I couldn't see her around anymore. Afterwards, my mom saw me and came to me. "I saw lola! She's here a while ago." Before my mom could even speak, ASTOUNDINGLY.... Former THE BUZZ host KRIS AQUINO butt in and interviewed me about my meeting with lola. I freaked out on her every question and words.

And that's the end of my dream.

From the look of it, my grandmother and even my grandfather did tell me to be strong by showing up in a dream and implying that message to me. After that, I had myself collected and I felt stronger and motivated to face the following challenges. I'm gonna miss my old folks! But I'm gonna make them really proud when I succeed.

Death Cab For Cuties

Remember Tisay, my pet dog which was featured in a previous post? I forgot to tell that she died last September 17, 2007. She had been confined at the vet for a few days. She had a liver infection, which she already had when she was born. I was at school when she died, and it was noontime. My mom sent me a message via cellular phone and I was totally devastated that day. Since my dismissal was late in the afternoon. They couldn't wait for me so they buried her under the little garden in front of our house. I'd been really depressed in those times. I'm gonna miss her.


And May 7 of this year, my loving grandmother died, after 6 months of battling with pancreatic cancer. The death cab had arrived at took her at 3:00 pm. No need to narrate everything - in short, it's the heaviest rain that poured on to my life. I love her so much and I'm gonna miss her too. She's my guardian angel now, and she'll always remain here in my heart.

Final Destination

(sometime in 2006)

2 suspected terrorists were hunted by the police. I could see from above the madness of people who were busy putting their things and themselves inside the trains before all take off. The train station was filled with people, including the police who were on guard. Suddenly, 2 persons on black trench coats and hats carrying large black suitcases were finding their way into the crowd as they reached the door a train and entered. Minutes later, the train started to move. All of a sudden, a blinding light appeared before me. The moment I opened my eyes, I was already sitting among passengers of the train.

In front of me was the driver, and the large window, where I could see the way the train was heading. As the train started to take off, I felt a tinge of anxiety. I hurriedly put on my seat belt.
I just calmed myself down and closed my eyes. The train then moved faster and faster on its track. It went through passages and tunnels in crazy directions. Trucks jumped out of nowhere and pass over us, cars and other vehicles crossed over our tracks nearly crashing to us. Passengers were already screaming. I looked over my right shoulder and saw familiar faces; people I knew; my friends in college!

I changed seats with the driver and suddenly I found myself driving the train itself. Then the train transformed into a truck. My friends were behind me and yes, I was already driver a truck. But it won't stop. Then it halted to a point, a place were many people were stranded, as if it was a station. We went down from the truck and saw people trying to climb over an almost 50-feet cemented wall. "This is the only way out!" I could hear some screaming. My other friends tried to join the crowd. I looked around, and saw some food stalls. People were hanging out and talking, some were in panic. I grabbed my friends and told them not to join the crowd. Something told me that something bad was going to happen. Most of my friends couldn't understand why and wouldn't believe me. I tried to warn them a lot of times but still they wouldn't listen. One of my friend, Yvette, stood by me, worried as well. I pulled her on the side, to the point I thought we would be safe. We were both bewildered by I told her we had to find our way out. Then there was roaring sound. It was like large chunks of rock and steel were banging each other. There was a deafening silence among the people. All of a sudden, at the top of the wall, a gigantic 10-wheeler truck emerged. It hanged there for a few seconds. People on the bottom glared at the unimaginable site above them. Others started to scream and run. The truck fell down to the crowd, crushing those people who never had the chance to escape, including my other friends. There was an unexplainable cry of terror and everyone was running around. We couldn't believe our eyes. Suddenly, another series of roaring sounds were heard. I knew something was going to happen.

I grabbed Yvette and found a door at the side of the station and went down the stairs. Outside was a parking lot surrounded by high dark gray walls and cornered by the station walls. A few cars were there. I saw a motorcycle on the side and noticed that the key was left. We hurriedly jumped on it. Then a man behind us tried to chase us and asked us what we were doing with his motorcycle. I realized he was the owner nevertheless I turned on the key and took off. There was another door on the side and we entered the building. We passed through a corridor and people were surprised. It was like we entered a hotel because the interior was very elegant and pretty. We passed by a lobby and passed by a huge round table and a sparkling chandelier above it. I saw my old friends Kevin and Lester and they were surprised to see me. "What are you doing?!?" I just smiled and took off and went out the door.

We passed by old buildings. When we went outside, the surroundings were like Dawn of the Living Dead. No one was around. It was like a ghost town. And the sky was very creepy cloudy. I remember seeing a bunch of garbage cans beside an building. Others were tumbling down because of the wind. As we continued to make our way home, the scene changed and suddenly, I was passing by behind a building very similar like the main building of my university. We turned left and headed straight and stopped into a dead end. We found ourselves inside a cemetery and it was scary. The only way out is to climb and step over the railings surrounding the area. It was very high, about 5 feet higher than me. We were in a hurry because we were scared of what might show up again thinking that that was a creepy place to stay. I climbed the railings and jumped to the other side. Yvette managed to climb, but she was very hesitant. I told her it was fine and we really needed to go out before something bad happens. She climbed over and fell down, and I catched her. Suddenly, when she looked at me, she transformed into somebody very familiar. I was like, "Roxanne Guinoo?" I was astounded for a while, when she suddenly ran and told me to hurry. There was an open gate nearby and we headed straight out.

The Dog

(April 10, 2007)

I have a white 10-month-old mixed female pug which my family calls Tisay since she's a mestiza dog. Haha. She's really pretty and very tame. She's warm to people and she rarely barks loud on people. She would usually welcome me whenever I get home from school or from somewhere; she gets very excited and sometimes she jingles all the way whenever I caress her tummy - haha I mean she suddenly take a leak, which freaks my mom everytime.

I dreamed of this dog and in the dream, I was caressing her long white fur like I always do to her. But then she suddenly freaked out, fell from my arms and hit herself to the floor. She cried out loud and I was confused. I tried to chase her and tame her but she jumped to the stairs of our house and hurts herself more. She cried loud as she was rolling down the stairs. That was the last thing I remember. Was she okay? I had no idea.

Last Song Syndrome

(April 11, 2007)

Apparently, I've been having last song syndromes with the songs from Chris Daughtry's new album.

The setting was in an old classroom I used at my former school when I was still in highschool. I was sitting on my own wooden desk, together with several people - most of which were of my age but not familiar to me, and others I assumed were their parents. My mom was sitting beside me. A teacher was there, and we were like having this some sort of a seminar or whatever you call it. The teacher was speaking words I didn't comprehend. They were like having this sort of talent appreciation in the classroom. People were showing their skills in front of everyone. Then this old friend of mine, whom I would just be calling Red, was there with me wearing a shirt in color... red. Yeah, no joke. I remember the teacher asking the class whoever was good in playing the guitar and might as well play for the whole class. I immediately volunteered to show my guitar-playing prowess and I guessed it was the perfect chance to sing my current favorite song which is "Over You' by Chris Daughtry. "I know that!" Red exclaimed. He sang a few lines of it and I was ecstatic. "You also love the song? Cool!" And I found another fanatic. He quickly assisted the guy who was bringing a nice electric guitar from behind. Then I reached for it.

Everyone was holding his own horse while waiting for me to play and sing. I strummed the first chord and began singing...

"Now that it's all said and done... I can't believe you are the---"

When I was about to strum the third chord which was F# minor, I was astounded to see that the guitar has 12 strings. My fingers couldn't press the strings on the frets properly because of that. I attempted to play again and again but it wasn't working. I was pissed. Everyone wondered.

A few minutes later after a long silence, the teacher was furious and began ranting about what I had done. She was pissed because I wasn't able to do it properly. She was angry because I embarrassed her in front of the whole class. And I didn't know the hell why. She suddenly walked out the room, and I remember hearing her loud stomps along the corridor as it faded out. I sat down beside my mom and screamed, "Bitch!"

My mom hushed me and just told me to keep quiet. Another teacher entered the room and began asking the people to raise their hands after each of her questions. I didn't know what was happening. Then she stepped out of the room.

The last thing I knew was I was walking along the school corridor seeing familiar and unfamiliar faces.

The Accident

(January 16, 2007)

I was with my college friends – Arvin, Victor and Sam. We decided to go to a certain mall. Before entering the building, I saw Tammi, one of my classmates, sitting outside and she waved at me. When I was already inside, the interior amazed me because the ambience was enlightening. There were only a few people inside. Decorations were everywhere; it was as if they still had some hangovers from Christmas. I remember seeing a shop from afar, selling big pots and vases. We strolled around until we reached to the highest level of the building. Big window panes hanged on the walls and ceilings of the building and sunlight passed through and lighted everything inside marvelously. Restaurants were everywhere, plants and many things of aesthetic values. While I observed the place with admiration, Victor inquired about the concert of Sponge Cola. It would start in just 30 minutes he told me. Arvin ran onto the fountain and played on it. Sam had seen my aunt and brought me to her. She invited me and my friends to eat on a Italian restaurant for a while. We joined her and went to the restaurant which she promise me far better than Trattoria. Each of us had a meal consisting of meat, side dishes, and a handful of chips with holes in the middle all over the meal. I totally disliked the food so I just told them that it was time for me to go because I have someplace else to go to. I walked out and kept wandering around the mall when I unexpectedly met my dad. We walked together and I asked him if he could buy me some stuff that I wanted. In just a few minutes he brought me to the exit and told me that we were going home. I totally objected because I didn’t want to go yet. I didn’t want to go home empty-handed and it was too early to go as well. When he had already called a cab, I ran back inside. He followed me and he chased me wherever I go. I ran through shops searching for a place to hide. I kept running when suddenly I met a dead-end. He grabbed my arm and pulled me, and ordered me to go home. I surrendered since there was nothing I could do. We went through the mall exit again and rode the cab. The sky was still clear when it slowly turned darker as we were heading home. Then it was complete dark when we passed by and saw an accident on the highway. I saw a woman lying down on the road. People were just standing there and were not even raising a finger to help. Seeing the horrible picture, I hurriedly went out of the cab and approached the scene and tried to help the unconscious woman. I held her in my arms, and realized that she was a woman in her late 20s, wearing a brown blouse and light brown slacks. People told me a car hit her. But there were no wounds on her body though. Somebody told me she was still breathing and so I lifted her up and asked for help. Somebody offered his car and we carefully carried her inside it. They took her away to the hospital. A few meters away from where I stood, I saw the car which hit the woman. It turned over and crashed in the middle of the highway. Glass windows were broken; the whole of it was completely damaged. I looked inside and saw a woman terrible injured. It was a bloody mess and her body was stuck in the blades and torn metal. I shouted for help and the ask the people around if there was something we could do to save her. Even the people were scared too, speechless, in panic, and frozen on their stance. I tried to get the woman out of the car, but a lady stopped me. She told me not to do it because my mother would get mad at me and kill me for that. Then I heard loud footsteps nearby, until someone grabbed me and pulled me away. I realized that it was my father, telling me not to interfere with others’ business, and scolding me that it was already late and we needed to head straight home. I went back inside the cab and it drove us home. After paying the driver, dad immediately went inside the house. I slowly walked to the gate – the image of the woman in the car flashed on my mind. Before I could enter the door, I thought, “I failed to save her.” It was a feeling of terrible regret. I went inside, trying to forget what happened.

Meeting the Stars

Even stars get into my sleep!

During the time when Yasmien Kurdi was a former crush, I dreamed of her twice. As far as I can remember, the first dream was about her visiting our house. We were eating our meals together as we were having a nice conversation as well. When I finally got to ask her what her phone number was, in order to keep in touch, she was very hesitant. I kept asking her but she wouldn’t like to give it. And so let it be, I thought, if that was what she wanted. The next thing I knew, she was gone, and I looked for her everywhere inside the house. I called her a lot of times, “Yasmien! Yasmien!” but no one answered. I opened the main door and saw her accompanying my grandfather while he was walking. It was a surprise. I never knew she was that nice. The next dream was about me getting to meet her again. The other details were already forgotten but one thing I remember was about me asking her if she still recognized me and remembered me. I told her that I saw her inside a mall (which happened in real life) and that we were just a couple of feet away from each other then. I also told her that she had already visited me once in my place where we ate together and helped my grandfather while he was walking.

During the time when the movie “A Walk To Remember” was a big hit and Mandy Moore was the hottest girl in town; she visited me in one of my dreams. In a dark, cold night when the moon was full and stars were rare, I hugged Mandy so tight while we were lying down together under a lighted waiting shed in front of an old deserted two-story building. We could see fireflies fly above us and feel the chilly crisp of the air. But nothing could beat the warm caresses we gave each other. She was wearing a black sexy shirt and her soft brunette hair swam across my face. It was a tranquil and romantic night for us, and to make it complete, we both started singing… “I’ll always remember…”

This was during the heat of the first season of Starstruck. The 14 finalists were inside our house. I remember Alvin and Jennylyn having a chat while they were sitting beside a table on our garage. I walked in and they greeted me. They told me to go outside. I saw Anton on scaffoldings painting the neighbor’s house, which was like 50 feet high. I called him and he waved back. The next thing I knew was the 14 of them were driving their own motorcycles and were about to go. After a few words from Jade, I asked her if ever I could go with them. But since it couldn’t be, I just wished them good luck and told them to keep improving.

Once I dreamed that I was the little brother of Piolo Pascual. He fetched me from school after my class with his awesome car. When we arrived home, I saw how big and glamorous our house was. It was big, and the interior was beautiful. They even had a receptionist who asked visitors who they were and on what purpose did they intend to visit. I saw his parents, who turned out to be my parents too. The maids were busy preparing food for dinner. After they finished the whole family including me sat on the table and started eating. I started to marvel how plenty the food was and how everything tasted so good. There were lighted candles and sparkling silverwares. After eating dinner, he took me to his room and gave me tons of clothes, shoes, and even gadgets. Although they were just hand-me-downs I couldn’t believe that everything looked brand new. It was just so cool. The next thing I knew was that he was telling me to prepare because he’d be taking me to a shooting of one of his programs and he’d try to put me in show business. But I forgot if I refused to his offer or not.

Once, I dreamed of a big party inside our house. All was like wearing red and there were red banderitas, balloons, and confetti. Everyone was having a bash. The music’s loud, food was plenty and everyone was happy. I was sitting on a corner beside our garden when someone approached me. Damn! She was none other than Angel Locsin. I called her, “Charlie!” her name on her old show Click. She we talked and I was really mesmerized by her smile. Following her were Charie (from Let’s Go), Karen delos Reyes and Railey Valleroso. They greeted me as well. And we all had a nice conversation and enjoyed the party after.

When Nadine Samonte was once a former crush, I dreamed of her once. We drove to a certain amusement park. I was with Nadine, Dion, and a little boy. We were supposed to enter a dragon-themed ride but we were told by the guard not to bring a kid inside. Because of that, it was Nadine and I left to enter the ride, and Dion decided to take the kid someplace else. Then we entered the ride and it was completely dark inside. We could hear voices and there were really a lot of people. Then a man appeared with a few lights. He was the guide and told us everything about the instructions and stuff. He told us that a lot of creepy creatures are lingering around the whole area and the number one rule of the game is to complete the maze and don’t ever get killed. So it was kind of a freaky warning and a lot were hesitant to go through. But we were assured that it was just a ride and nothing bad would happen to anyone of us. Then the game began. There were lots of hallways, corridors, passages, and it was all dark. People were going through different directions, and dim lights were a big help to see where we were coming through. Nadine and I held each other as we went through passages. We could hear people screaming. Creatures come out grabbing people and some were running and falling down. I couldn’t see what these creatures are. When the number of people with us started to diminish, we started to get scared. Then we were all alone. It came to a point when we were standing still and a clear and big corridor was in front of us. Doors were closed. The lights were blinking. There was a deafening silence. We tried to pass through the hallway and stepped slowly. We were sweating and trembling – unsure of what might appear in front of us. Our steps started to go faster and faster. We wanted to reach the end of the passage. Accidentally, I stopped and turned left, and saw a door open. I stared on what was inside. It was all dark when suddenly I saw 2 pairs of blazing red eyes and heard a loud roar. We immediately ran in order to escape. A few seconds later, I looked back and saw the monster. I was shocked when I saw that she was a former schoolmate possessed by an evil spirit. Her name was Manprit. She was wearing her school uniform but her looks were ravaged and she was shaking all over. She looked really hair-raising. When Nadine and I met a dead-end, we thought if we would jump over the wide space between the high stairs beside us. We immediately made our mind and jumped together. Come what may, I thought. Manprit wasn’t able to follow us. After falling we found ourselves on a shallow pool. Suddenly, everything went light and there were many people around. We realized that we were just fooled by a gag show and everything was only set-up.

What Dreams May Come: Part 7 (The Feast)

Our batch had an educational trip in a very old place, which was like an old deserted hospital. Led by a teacher, we had a discussion in a room, somewhat like a laboratory, with lots of specimens around, but I was not sure what the specimens are. The teacher used a projector while she was discussing the history of this old place many years ago.

Then suddenly the scene changed and I saw myself in a castle. I saw brick walls around me, somewhat like in the ancient times, and I realized I was wearing ancient clothes too, somewhat like a prince or something. And I was indeed, a prince, because I remember, we were having a feast, and I was sitting with a king, and the king treated me as a son, so it means that he was my father, and so I was the prince! But then later on, something broke the cheerfulness of the banquet when an army or group of barbaric soldiers attacked the castle. I was running to help the others transfer into safe rooms and hideouts. I saw my father’s soldiers attack the Barbarians but when I looked back, I saw the leader of the Barbarians strike his sword on my father’s chest and killed him. I was in rage but since they were so many I decided to run away to the hideouts. When all the people, including me, had wondered where the barbaric soldiers had gone, since we already heard nothing but deafening silence, we assumed that they had all left. Unexpectedly we heard a knock on the door. A servant opened the door and we saw a man outside. He said, “I brought these big red lanterns on their small wagons ‘coz we heard that there’s a feast here. It’s our gift to the Royal Highness.” The servant received the lanterns and lighted them. Then the man who gave the lanterns transformed into an evil man, and he laughed ominously while saying, “Now, it’s your end!” Then I realized that the lanterns were bombs, but before I knew it, the lanterns had exploded. We were all in flames. And the last thing I remember was, I was floating in the air, while seeing the castle burning and crushing down in ashes, and seeing all the dead bodies of the innocent people scattered around.

Then the scene changed. I was back in the laboratory with my classmates and the teacher. Maybe what happened a while ago was just a flashback of what had happened many years ago before this old building was made. Then we all went outside as we were about to go home. Then astoundingly, we all saw a girl wearing white, standing at the top of the building, with arms wide open and then ascending to the sky. Beside her was a man wearing white clothes staring at us but then he turned around and walked slowly until he disappeared. We were all amazed instead, and I realized that maybe they are just few of the hundreds of lost souls who met their end there after a joyful feast that seemed to last for eternity.

Dreams may be an occurrence that happened in the past, or an incident that will happen in the future. Many think of them as signs and symbols of something or some things that will make them understand the meaning of the things happening to them in reality.

Personally, I am not surely aware of what my dreams are trying to tell me. But I know time will come when things for me shall be as clear as the crystal sky, and I will surely understand what God wants me to do with my life, and see the clear path to my goal and triumph.

What Dreams May Come: Part 6 (The Mall)

I was with my friend, Eddie. After school, we decided to go to a shopping mall. Upon entering the shopping mall, I noticed a man near the entrance holding a P1000 bill. I didn’t bother to look more and we just went inside and roamed around. Afterwards, Eddie gave something to me and told me to put it inside my pocket immediately. I saw it and it was a P1000 bill. I was surprised, and so I said, “Wow!” ‘Coz I realized that I could buy lots of goodies using that large amount of money. But something pushed me to go out of the mall. Eddie and I were about to leave the mall, although I had bought nothing, when suddenly someone grabbed my arm. I turned and saw a man. He asked me with rage, “Where’s my money? Give me back my money!” Then I was like, “What?!? What money?” Then I realized that he was the one I had seen holding a P1000 bill a while ago near the entrance. Then I realized that the P1000 bill that Eddie gave me was really owned by that man! So it means he took it from him! I was shocked! Due to extreme fright, I ran back inside the mall with Eddie, but the man followed and chased us. There were many people by that time so we lost each other and the man. So I was all alone then. Feeling a little relieved, I suddenly heard a loud announcement inside the whole shopping mall: “The entrances and exits are now being closed because a student is being chased by the authority because of theft.” I didn’t think twice and I knew that it was me they’re talking about! So I was really scared. Then suddenly I met two of my friends, Riz and Mags. They were shocked too. I told them, “let’s get out of here now!” Then there was a commotion inside the mall, and people were all rushing to the exits. We rushed too, but since there were many people and everyone was pushing each other, I lost Riz and Mags. I was trying to hide my face because someone might recognize me and speak to the authority. Good thing, I was able to go out, together with the people. I escaped. I didn’t know what happened to Eddie. Then from outside, I could see the strange darkness of the whole sky. It was already nighttime but not a single star could be seen. Everyone was in total rush to go home already. There was even a blackout and it made the surroundings even darker. Outside the shopping mall, I saw different kinds of transportation going around and fetching people. Others were still waiting for something to ride on. There were even long queues of people waiting for their ride. Everyone was really panicking. Good thing, I found Riz and Mags. We were trying to get a taxi in order to go home. But there was none. Then, I noticed that there were two smaller cars, actually mini-cars, each could carry 4 persons, and just like the cars I saw being used in Japan. One was color red and the other was green. Then I thought, “If only I had one of those, I could already go home now, I’ll even let my friends come with me!” Then we decided to go out to the sidewalks near the roads. We saw lots of buses moving around. There were lots of people who were going home already, including my club-mate Jodi (I remember she was wearing her blue Intramural shirt and was waving her hand and shouting while hanging unto the side of the bus). Then Riz and Mags found a taxi. We live in different places so I decided not to go with them. So I was left there all alone. Fortunately, I saw another friend of mine. She was Fredie and she was with her sister and dad. She let me ride with them. I really felt relieved already that finally I could go home, since I was really exhausted. I was worrying that my mom would scold me since it was already late and I was not yet at home. Afterwards, they parked in a certain place and I stepped down. I thanked them and they left. The place was like a residential area. I walked on the dark street then I reached this house that had a bright light. I stopped and rested for a while. I was really tired already and I was really worrying too. Then I turned to another street, trying to walk and walk, and I realized I was still really far from my house. There was a deafening silence and obviously, people were already asleep. Then I continued to walk on the dark street although there were light posts on the sidewalk. I passed by a jeepney that was parked on the sidewalk, and then I heard someone calling me, “Hey kid, aren’t you going to sleep yet? It’s already late! Where do you live anyway?” There was a woman there and she was with an older woman, perhaps her mother. They saw that I was really tired. I asked them, “Can I rest for a while at your house? Even just for a while…” I really couldn’t take it anymore. The older woman told me, “Of course. Poor kid. Come inside.” Then she told her daughter to get me something to eat and drink. Then she welcomed me into their simple home. She let me sit on their soft sofa and I felt relieved. Then the older woman asked me about what happened to me. I started telling her every single thing that happened. While I was narrating my story, I felt the sofa was moving and was like taking me somewhere. My eyes were slowly shutting as if I was going to sleep.

This was the strangest dream that happened to me. It was almost 2-3 in the morning when I woke up sweating because of this dream. This really was the one that freaked me out because it seemed so real. I really felt the fear and the weariness.

Even in our dreams, we feel our emotions, we use our senses, and communicate with others who are also part of our dreams. These people may include our friends, our families, our loved ones, even the people we admire such as celebrities, even our enemies, or even people we really don’t know. We may dream about familiar places we’ve known eversince, but there are instances that we enter the world of the unknown and the realm of mystery.

What Dreams May Come: Part 5 (The Battle)

I saw myself in a vast and burning desert, riding on a sturdy chariot pulled by a brawny horse. Behind me, was a league of soldiers and men ready to strike their swords and shed blood. And then I shouted and screamed my command – the command that ignited the war of Mesopotamia. The fast and furious attack started and accelerated as my men and I moved towards the troops of my fellow kings – King Sargon, Hammurabi, Sumuabum, and the other Assyrians, Akkadians, Sumerians and Babylonians. Then came a bloody battle that marked a chapter of the world’s history.

This dream happened during the time when I was studying my World History. It really seemed comical yet fascinating that due to too much reading, I saw myself in my dream as part of the history I was reading about. Well, dreams may help us reach our goal of gaining self-confidence through situations that might enhance our self-esteem, although it is just a fantasy or just an illusion. And dreams may keep the fire within us blazing by helping us surviving in the midst of our anxieties and worries in life.

What Dreams May Come: Part 4 (The Piano)

I was in a very big house, or should I say, mansion. From the exterior, I could see the beauty and exquisiteness of the house. Surrounding it, were tall trees, green grasses and flowers, and the sunshine rested happily above the house. I entered and saw some of my former classmates mingling with each other near the car (that looked brand new to me). I greeted them and later on, we were talking, playing, and doing some crazy stuff at the garage of the house. Then I noticed that on the side of the house, there was a staircase that led to the second floor, but surprisingly the stair was located outside. I went up, opened the door, and was amazed by what I saw. Wow!!! The interior was really large and beautiful. They had white-colored walls, a wooden and varnished floor, soft sofas, and by the clear glass windows, you could see the tall trees and birds flying outside. There were blue and violet vases, and there was a brown wooden piano. The house was really cozy and definitely a wonderful place to live in. As I admired the place, the owners of the house, a couple, showed up. They welcomed me and requested my to play a piano piece. So I granted their request and sat on the chair and played the piano. But I was irritated and dismayed when I pressed the piano keys since they didn’t sound so well. The tune was really cracking me off. And so I concluded, yes, the house was very beautiful, but it’s still not admirable because of the piano, and I didn’t like it anymore.

Dreams may also mold our perspective and outlook in life. It could serve as a guide in our decision-makings, in solving our dilemmas in life, and knowing things that would make us improve and be better persons. Dreams should not be interpreted, as they may seem, for they convey a message or thought whose meaning is far deeper than what we think. So we need to think and analyze carefully for us to know the real meaning of our dreams.

What Dreams May Come: Part 3 (The Phone)

My grandma decided to go somewhere. She entrusted to me her blue Nokia 5110 cellphone (see, hi-tech!). After she had left, I decided to go somewhere else and so I wandered around the streets. I was swept away to a place where there’s a lot of people selling “samalamig” and vegetables, some kind of market or something. There were also a lot of children around, having fun playing and talking with each other. Since there’s nobody left for me to talk with except for myself, I decided to approach a certain group of children sitting on a wooden bench and I had a nice chat with them. Located just in front of us was a white church surrounded by a line of tricycles and tricycle drivers waiting for passengers. I had a nice talk with those children and with the people in the market too. In the midst of the conversations, I suddenly remembered my grandma’s cellphone, which she had entrusted to me. I touched my pocket and I was moved with anxiety when I thought that the cellphone was missing. I became so worried that I immediately searched for the cellphone. I asked every person I saw on the street if ever he had caught a glimpse of the blue Nokia 5110 cellphone. I asked the children but they said they had seen nothing. The tricycle drivers gave the same reaction. I was already suspecting those people when I abruptly felt my pocket. I was astonished there’s something inside so I pulled the object, thinking that it’s my grandma’s cellphone, but I was shocked when I saw it’s blue in color but it’s a different kind. I returned my hand to my pocket and felt another object and so I pulled it out but I was shocked again because it’s a different cellphone too. Lastly, I felt another object inside my pocket. Hoping that it’s the cellphone I was looking for, I swiftly pulled it out and was relieved when I saw my hand holding grandma’s blue Nokia 5110 cellphone. Good thing that it’s not lost. Unexpectedly, my grandma returned and saw me near the marketplace and the church. People were staring at me. I gave the cellphone back to my grandma and we returned home.

This dream may sound silly, but I learned a lesson from it, though. Even in our dreams, we learn lessons such as learning to accept responsibility, knowing the value of alertness, and trying to socialize with other people. We discover things that are invisible in reality, but perceptible in our subconscious thoughts. Dreams teach us things – those we hear in real life, but yet we don’t act on – and enlighten us and give us the visions of the consequences that we might receive if we act wrongly and incorrectly, or the good things that might happen if we act right and in the approved manner.

What Dreams May Come: Part 2 (The Bar)

It was nighttime, and I was with a certain girl and we were riding in a red car. I parked the car on the side and we went inside a certain bar where many people were having a bash. We joined in and had some fun. Afterwards we went outside and came back to where I parked the car. But when we returned, we saw a man, a woman and a fat little boy riding in our car. They seemed like carnappers. So we drove them away and I reported the incident to the MMDA policeman who was just a few yards from us. He called the other cops and they chased all the carnappers. We joined in and attacked the carnappers. I punched and kicked them. But some notorious men tried to abduct the girl I was with. Hence, I defended her, but those men threw stones at me. It was a bloody mess but I continued to wrangle with those jerks.

There are instances that in our dreams, we are trapped in a situation wherein we try to defend ourselves from those people who want to harm us or to hurt our friends or loved ones, just like in real life. Dreams may be reflections of the reality. Although some say that dreams are opposite of what are happening in real life, it just shows that we are still alive, even on our subconscious thoughts, and dreams do not always come true. Here’s another one.

What Dreams May Come: Part 1 (Introduction)

(An article I wrote for the October-December 2004 issue of the Red Lily publication. Looking back on those days, I realized how a mediocre writer I was before. Nevertheless, I'm still proud of it. I decided to divide it into parts since the article is too long.)

WHAT DREAMS MAY COME

Dream – (n.) a mental process, usually in the form of a series of imagined events occurring during certain phases of sleep. A dream is an interface between the process of life and our conscious personality. Dreams can be an expression of what is happening in the physical body. They can be a source of insight and information derived from our memory, experience and subconscious. Dreams can be a means to the solving of problems and can be used to access a world beyond our physical realm.

All that happens in this world cannot simply be explained by scientific means. Not everything has a lucid reason or purpose of why it is occurring. Indeed, we are all aware of that. I’m not just talking about spirits, ghosts or whatsoever, you might think. I just want to share my thoughts and speak my mind about these so-called “dreams”.

As defined above, dreams happen during our sleep. They are a series of imagined events visualized during our subconscious being – a representation of what we are thinking, although far more different or even opposing from reality. I’m sure that everybody knows and has already experienced it, but no one can explain why these things happen. Since I was small, I have been dreaming of weird things, strange events, unknown places and many more. Up ‘til now, I’m still wondering and searching for the real reason why I see these things during my sleep. Nevertheless, I have accepted the fact that it’s part of my system, and part of the human existence.

There are nights when I suddenly wake up due to the unexplained feeling after dreaming of something shocking, exciting, weird or sad. There are mornings when I wake up and remember my dreams that convey stories full of twists, with me as the lead character. I’m even astonished after realizing that the stories from these dreams can already be part of a blockbuster movie due to the scenes full of action, suspense, fantasy, horror, and drama. I see myself in different settings, from familiar ones up to the strange but nice places my feet have never stepped on. I envision events that could never happen in real life. There are times that I hope I could live the dreams, experience the fun and excitement, and go the places that no one has ever gone to. And I supposed you share my sentiments too.

Although I am baffled by these dreams, I still find it amusing remembering how these dreams convey stories or events in unexplainable yet enchanting ways. I even wrote those fantastic ones to keep memories and recall the scenes, the places, and those people involved.

Angels and Demons

(a Multiply blog entry I posted July 20, '06)

Let me share this very weird and bloodcurdling dream of mine. I dunno, I just find this one really weird and scary and it almost freaked me out.

There was this certain room inside our house located at the second floor. It was removed after our house was renovated last year. Anyway, in my dream, it was nighttime and I entered the room. The room exhibited a lot of Satanic statues, necklaces etc., and not to mention the big inverted cross hanging on the wall. It turned out that I was some sort of a devil worshipper. I was chanting stuffs and that. There was this box, and I opened it. It had a mask inside it, and it was called "Mask of Death", as written on the box. Something was telling me to wear the strange mask, and so I did. Everything suddenly went black and eventually I felt like I was acting so violently, shouting curses and screaming demonic voices, somewhat like I had been possessed by an evil spirit. I, then, see demons everywhere. I hurriedly removed the mask from my face and I came back to my senses and being. I realized that I was deceived by the devil and Satan was trying to lure me to his realm. I freaked out and ran outside the room, and entered to another room, where my aunt was resting. I woke her up and I was freaking and was telling her what happened. She told me that in order to fight the evil, I just need to pray hard. So I laid down myself to bed, and kept saying the Lord's Prayer loudly and a lot of times. Voices of demons were dominating the atmosphere. And then I slept. In my dream (within a dream... they say it's bad... well, I dunno), a face of a horrible demon appeared to my face, just as how Dark Lord Sauron appeared to Frodo when he wears the ring, and the face was laughing an evil laugh and it was really scary. Then in that dream, I felt like there was a sudden blow of wind behind me and everything turned white, and the face of the demon and its evil laugh eventually faded away. I heard angelic voices as everything turned completely white. Then I woke up from the dream within the dream. And then woke up again into reality.

Does angels & demons exist in this world? Or just in dreams?

So I guess this only means one thing: I should hold on to my faith no matter what. This is something that tested my faith. I think it was an eye-opener for me to feed my soul and keep it healthy. Well, that's life, and it's best to follow my beliefs.